Surrender (2016 - 2017)






Surrender is a personal visual diary I collected during a deep and difficult moment of transformation I endured when faced with illness.
It is July 2016, 3 days after my 26th birthday, I wake up with a slight and growing ache in my right knee, till night when the pain becomes unbearable, it lasts several days and after few visits to the hospital the x-rays spot a suspicious mass on the upper tibia. It takes 2 months to get a wrong diagnosis and a consequent incorrect surgery, in hindsight making things worse. Ultimately I had to go to Pisa to cure what  revealed to be an osteosarcoma, a form of bone cancer. It is the 20th of December when Prof. Capanna implanted a Mega C, a prosthetic knee he designed and named after him, in my right leg. It takes 8 months before I can walk again and a couple of years of dealing with PTSD. Surrender is the memory diary of that struggle, of those days of pain in a static isolation observing the world from far. Surrender might be wrongly linked with losing hope although to me is quite the opposite, it is pure trust in the universe and whatever puts in your path, the only way for me to accept the concept of death and the surrealist situation I found or put myself in, transforming the trauma in lesson. It is the memory of this lesson that I wished to collect, even though I could not yet understand the lesson then, but I was hopeful the passage of time would transform the meaning of those images and I wanted to record my inner states so I might never forget those moments and the teachings that they together with the illness brought in my life.